Nice Tamilian couple gave me a very good DSLR down by the high Monument. I didn’t really understand what they were saying, but it was so sweet of them.



A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband : “My husband is acting so weird. He eats his morning breakfast and then he goes and eats half of the plate ! He only leaves the design part of a plate!”

“Yes, that is so weird. The design of a plate is the best part-Psychiatrist said.



I heard women love a man in uniform. So I have decided to start working at Pizza hut.



John : Doctor help me please, every time I drink a cup of tea I get this intense tingling in my eye. Doctor: I suggest you remove the spoon before drinking.



SCENE: My teenage son and me in the car.            

Peter: Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl’s name is?

Me: Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel? [Pause…] Please tell me you know what consonants and vowels are.

Peter: You’re no fun, Dad. Forget it.

Me: What is a vowel?

Peter: OK, OK. A vowel is Aaha … ahhh … ehh … well, ohh … uhh …

Me: oh..! Close enough.



Teacher to Student: Brett, your essay on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy from him?

Brett (Student) : No, teacher, it’s about the same dog!



Hey I ordered a Pizza & Came with no Toppings on it or anything, It’s Just Bread, said Consumer

Domino’s : We’re sorry to hear about this..!

Consumer (seconds later): Don’t mind, I opened the pizza upside down.